some time ago we were lucky enough to be given a rather wonderful bath which we installed in the decidedly decrepit bathroom in our house. the accompanying cosmetic works involved a bit of a rethink on storage in the bathroom, so i fashioned some shelves from the wood gleaned from my son’s old loft bed so that we had somewhere to put towels and bottles of bath stuff.
for some time the new shelves were sufficient for our bathroom clutter. but that was before the Ageing Rockstar has his lung surgery. the Ageing Rockstar has a rather bothersome lung condition which required surgery just over a year ago. I will gloss over the medical particulars save to say that half of one of his lungs was removed which bizarrely makes breathing easier for him.
Eventually the Ageing Rockstar was allowed home, but still had a couple of pipes coming out of his side, draining into bags. When a person has holes in them they cannot let them get underwater so shallow baths were the order of the day. because the Ageing Rockstar was still rather dazed, he planned for baths into the next century and purchased a great many large bottles of Imperial Leather Bath Cream. After a couple of weeks he was able to shower and therefore stopped having baths and purchased a similar quantity of Imperial Leather Shower Cream.
The upshot of all this was that the shelves in the bathroom could no longer cope. I collected up a number of bottles of Imperial Leather Bath Cream with a view to donating them to a worthy cause. the Ageing Rockstar came across the bag.
“What are you doing with all my bubble bath?!” He cried.
“I’m going to donate it to this charity that is collecting toiletries for homeless people,” I explained.
“But homeless people don’t have bathrooms! How on earth are they going to have baths?!”
“No, but the charity provides places for them to have showers and baths and get clean clothes and stuff,” I explained.
“I don’t declutter all your stuff! I’m always looking for things and you’ve moved them or given them away!” wailed the Ageing Rockstar, “I might want a bath and there won’t be any bubble bath left!”
No amount of reasoning was going to placate him so the by now rather dusty bottles of Imperial Leather Bath Cream were duly returned to the bathroom and I purchased a container for them to live in.
Needless to say, the Ageing Rockstar has not had a single bath since…