life with an ageing rockstar

Today the Ageing Rockstar attains the grand old age of 62.  Having ascertained that i would not be buying him a guitar, or anything too guitar-like, he was persuaded to widen his aspirations on the birthday present front. “I might quite like one of those kindles,” he said, “then i could play games on it like i did on my old tablet thingy.” The old tablet thingy was indeed old.  It was almost as old as the Ageing Rockstar.  As well as being a dab hand with a guitar, the Ageing Rockstar is also a dab hand with a spanner. In a past life he earned a crust through spannering cars.  At this point i will need to leave you, dear reader, in order to check with mr google whether there is another meaning for the word ‘spannering’.  [sound of footsteps disappearing] [sound of footsteps reappearing] It would appear that spannering is a safe word, but spannered can mean out of one’s head on drugs.  So just to be clear the Ageing Rockstar was often spannering but never spannered.  Newer readers

i seem to have purchased a microwave.  this will be a cause for mirth among my friends.  i have been a luddite on the question of microwaves since they were invented.  for years i have been crying "be careful!  they give off rays!" but no-one paid the slightest heed.  as far as the earlier incarnations of the microwave were concerned i had a point - it was discovered after some years of the population being told they were safe that they had in fact been giving off rays.  but the current generation of microwaves is safe, or so we are told. 
 be that as it may, i was browsing the Asda website the other day looking for shower curtains.  i found some for £2 each and promptly ordered them.  Asda then informed me that if i spent over £30 i qualified for free delivery.  i quickly ran through potential purchases to make up the difference and came up with a microwave.  i am not sure why - it had some connection to my new healthy diet and having porridge for breakfast and being able to